This week has been an eventful one. I was at the hospital for 6 hours on Wednesday, you can read about it here.
I have been feeling really guilty this week. Guilty that I’m not being a very good mum and partner because I feel so tired and poorly ALL THE TIME I’m just not being a very nice person to be around and I don’t do anything with any of my children 🙁
I’m also feeling really massive and heavy and am struggling with simple things like putting my knickers on! And being told at the midwives that I’m measuring bigger than I should has not helped. I’m just starting to really panic that I’m going to have a huge baby. I said at the beginning that I wouldn’t feel like this because I was told all along that Harry was going to be big but he was 6lb exactly, so tiny. Hormones, don’t you just love them?
I think I’m just having an emotional week (or 2) because so much is getting to me. Kids are irritating me (they always irritate me, just more so than normal lately) the house is irritating me because my head wants to do so much but my body wont allow it, which is very frustrating.
Sunday I had the kids on my own (the OH works nights) and Harry was being a total devil of a child and after a few hours I was really struggling because he slept with me all night, waking me in the middle of the night so I was shattered and in pain. When OH got up I was so relieved because I could get a little break but he woke with an awful migraine and threw up 🙁 So I had to suck it up and carry on solo parenting (yes I know many have a choice, I’ve been there myself but that doesn’t stop me feeling how I did) I seriously struggled to get through the day, just wanted to cry and run away. It just reminded how much I rely on Tom and how wonderful he is to give me regular breaks.
I’m not looking forward to hospital twice this week but I am excited to see baby again 🙂