Feeling guilty!

Lately I have found myself feeling guilty. Sometimes I feel sorry for my older two for me having Harry. I obviously do not regret having Harry and the kids love him, as he does them but sometimes I feel that it’s pushed them aside a little. For instance when we ask them to watch Harry for a short while while we do something quickly (while we’re in the house too) or when we tell them to be quiet so we can get him to sleep or sometimes I can’t help them/listen to something they want because I have to deal with Harry. I feel so guilty when I think of these times.

We often tell them to stop doing something because Harry might copy as he looks up to them and they should know better at their ages (14&12)

Because I am conscious of it, I think it helps because if Harry cries and I’m not in the room, I try not to blame the older two instantly because I’ve seen this happen with other families and it’s unfair.

We make them do chores, as they should, but obviously Harry gets none, so again I feel guilty.

They have both told me that they feel pushed out before so I am always trying to just have 1 on 1 time with each of them (I need to do this more) I have tried to explain to them that I don’t favour any one child over the other, but Harry is at an age where he needs me more than they do.

Do you think I have reason to be guilty? Am I putting too much pressure on them? Any of you have this too?

 

p.s sorry for rambling, I just wrote it as it came out 🙂

 

About teentweentoddler

Hi, I am a SAHM to 4. Two teens, a preschooler and a baby. This is where I share some of our ups and downs of life.

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7 Responses to Feeling guilty!

  1. Kim Carberry says:

    You’re bound to feel guilty, it’s natural for you and your older two to feel this way.
    My brother is younger than I am and I remember feeling the same but as we both got older the feelings just disappeared…
    Try not to worry….Like you said try to get some more one on one time (easier said than done) it might make you all feel a bit better about things x

  2. David Ball says:

    No you shouldn’t feel guilty! But perhaps spend a bit more time with the other two! Your family all love each other so you’ve not done a bad job so far! xx

  3. I feel exactly the same my oldest is twelve and it was just me and her for nine years then i met my partner and had two babies really close together. I always feel like i don’t get much one to one time with her and i feel awful when i snap at her or if i ask her watch the little ones whilst i cook tea or something. She often says they steal all the attention which i feel awful about. I have started having a saturday night routine where just me and her watch telly together and we always have a day out just me and her at halfterm . I know it is easier said then done but try not to feel guilty xx

  4. Firefly Phil says:

    Oh, Sharon, you’re doing just fine! Don’t beat yourself up. I’m sure there are ways you will find to make it up to the girls.
    Oh, and about the chores: when he can manage it, could you give Harry one tiny routine task that he could be proud of doing?

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