When you become a parent we always get that thing called guilt. Nine times out of 10 there is no need for that guilt at all its just something that we’ve created in our own heads and the children don’t even know why or don’t even have a clue about your guilt. Mostly when you tell people about your guilt they usually say oh honestly don’t even worry about it your child will not even know. We usually get told there is no need, and they’re usually right.
Then you have teens and it’s a whole lot different. Usually it’s still the same ‘feeling guilty for no reason’ but the children DO know and WILL make you feel worse. You would think as teenagers they would understand when things happen out of our control, but sadly they don’t.
For instance on the day of my daughters 15th birthday I was in hospital being induced. We obviously knew about the induction so we treated her the day before and made that day special instead.
As a parent you will know that I was shitting myself about the induction (had previously had a bad one) and I was feeling guilty BUT do you think that registered with my daughter? Of course not. She still went on about her rubbish birthday.
P.s he came the next day.
And then a year later when her 16th came around and my son’s first. Firstly she moaned about having to share it with her brother (even though I said several times that they are two seperate days) and then she moaned because I was ill and didn’t do a lot on her birthday.
For months we asked her what she wanted to do and she eventually said “the ice cream parlour with some friends and shopping”
Her birthday was on a Tuesday (so she was at school for half of it) We got up with her and watched her open her presents and sang happy birthday to her but then I spent the whole day in and out of sleep in bed. I was so ill with flu, it was horrendous! I felt so guilty for not doing anything with her and apologised to her BUT do you think that stopped her slamming doors and being in an obvious mood with the whole household? Nope!
Even though we had booked the ice cream parlour she asked for on the following Saturday (which I did even though I still felt poorly) and she had planned a shopping trip with all her friends for the Saturday after.
Also at the moment my 14 year old son shares a room with his 4 year old brother because we live in a 3 bed house. We will be moving to a bigger house at some point in the year, possibly next but of course it’s not that simple. I already feel guilty about this because I know he wants his own space BUT instead of just understanding, he goes on about it ALL THE TIME!
Parenting is so hard sometimes.