Sex after children

Can you still enjoy sex after children? Yes and no.

Babies- yes This is the one time you can’t be arsed and tired but it’s the best time to enjoy it because the kids don’t have a clue what you’re doing.

Toddlers- yes Again you will be knackered and not arsed (doesn’t matter how old they get, you will not stop being tired) but again they still have no idea what you’re doing so it’s fine to enjoy.

School age- yes If you work nights, are stay at home parents, work close to home etc then you can do it while they are at school, perfect! If you don’t then don’t worry because you still can. Yes they are more inquisitive and WILL interrupt you BUT you can palm it off as something innocent, I.e
“Daddy is tickling mummy”
“Mummy had a bad dream”

Because luckily at this age they are still innocent and have no idea what you’re doing.

Tween/teens Yes and no You can but only when they are at sleepovers or again if you get chance when they are at school. DO NOT consider it when they are at home! It doesn’t matter how quiet or sneaky you think you are, those little shits WILL hear you and will embarrass the fuck out of you!

They will tell anyone who will listen what you shouted out!
They will ask you “why did you say that?”
They will tell you that you are so old and should not be doing that stuff
They will tell you that you are gross and totally make the good feeling go

Tweens/teens sleep in? Oh yes they do UNTIL YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX then the little shits will decide to be up early that day and they will wait until that crucial moment to just walk in and say “good is it?”

Good feeling = gone!

You have been warned! If you have a child/ren under 10 then enjoy because it will steadily disappear.
What age is suitable for them to leave home? 14 is fine right?

About teentweentoddler

Hi, I am a SAHM to 4. Two teens, a preschooler and a baby. This is where I share some of our ups and downs of life.

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2 Responses to Sex after children

  1. Brilliant post – so glad you published! We’ve still only got toddlers so
    Ok-Ish for a bit. However up until two weeks ago we all slept in one room (sort of co sleeping) so had to be ‘creative’ as to when/where! We were asked several times whether the decision to co sleep affected sex life –
    Well we managed to conceive three times since having Harrison so obviously not too much! I can definitely see ‘mummy/daddy time’ getting harder now though!

  2. Haha although I don’t have that problem these days but I can imagine how awkward it would be and completely embarrassing if things were heard x

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