When to let your teen daughter’s boyfriend sleep over? 

My daughter is 16 now and her boyfriend recently stayed over for a night. 

I was so worried when she first asked because I really didn’t know what to say. My first initial thought was absoloutely not but then I started to think about myself as a teen. When you get told not to do something, it automatically made you want it more. 

Obviously I’m worried about her having sex but if I try to keep her away from it then I fear it will just make her want it more. 

Teenagers are not the most trustworthy but there comes a time when I have to just trust her. It scares the life out of me but a lot of parenting does. 

It’s a tough one because I obviously don’t want her to have sex yet but I also don’t want her to see sex as something wrong, because it’s not. 

I’ve wondered about putting her on the pill but then I worry I am giving the message that I’m ok with it. 

Anyway I was very strict about where they both slept and I had him in with teen son because he doubled as a spy. 

She’s also slept at his house because I discussed the sleeping arrangements with his mum.

I wish I knew how hard raising teens were when they were little, I think I would have enjoyed them being little so much more. 


What age were you/your child? Any advice?  

About teentweentoddler

Hi, I am a SAHM to 4. Two teens, a preschooler and a baby. This is where I share some of our ups and downs of life.
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12 Responses to When to let your teen daughter’s boyfriend sleep over? 

  1. Kim Carberry says:

    I think you handled it well….I dread this day coming but it will eventually.
    I would rather my girl and her boyfriend sleep in my house than somewhere else. I can at least keep an eye on her.

  2. rachelswirl says:

    God help me when I have teenagers because I remember my own teen years so well. Good luck with it all!

  3. Gosh parenting teens is so damn tough isn’t it. I know we will no doubt get this question in a few years. Son is 15 this year, but no interest in girls at the moment. I am only too aware this could change at anytime. I think you handled it well too, and didn’t just say no x

  4. I think I was around 17 when I started having girls sleep over and staying over their houses. Ours ran away for a year to live with her boyfriend but now that she’s home I still couldn’t just let somebody stay in her room. I think I’d agree to it, but he’s have to sleep in the 5 year old’s room and the little would bunk with big sis and keep an eye on things! #tweens/teens

  5. This makes me feel grateful for having boys, rather than girls, somehow, it doesn’t seem so much of a worry when your son has his girlfriend stay over, silly, I know, but that’s my take on it for what it’s worth#teentweenand in-between linky@_karendennis

  6. It sounds like you got that just right! You didn’t say no, but you made sneaking around impossible by putting him in with your son 🙂
    My son is nearly 16, but no real interest in girls yet, so we haven’t had to deal with this issue.

  7. I’m glad I didn’t have the field this question when my daughters were that young! Although it was something I’d worried about, by the time either suggested it they were ‘adults’ and it didn’t feel like such an issue.

  8. Gemma Pepper says:

    You did the right thing, I’m a very open parent with my teen she’s 14, I would of done exactly the same as you. Keeping them close, trusting them and guiding them is the way to do it. They will makes mistakes of course it’s all part of learning life lessons but with you by her side she will be just fine ! #TweensTeensBeyond

  9. Sharon, I think you are doing exactly the right thing. I have to say I’m not looking forward to this stage. I love your spy! I will be he!!! You’ve reassured me here that there is dialogue with the boys parents too. That makes things so much simpler if everyone is sharing the same message. That’s half the battle isn’t it. Thank you so much for joining us for #TweensTeensBeyond on our first week. Nicky

  10. Sharon this is such a tough one but you handled it brilliantly. Sleeping in another room with a young brother on guard duty! I have been lucky in that even though my son is 18 he hasn’t had a long term girlfriend yet so I haven’t been faced with this dilemma, but equally he has always known my stance. I hate to be cliched but I also think it is more difficult with girls and whilst my daughter at 14 has zero interest in boys her day will no doubt come. In the meantime maintaining a strong and open relationship with our teens where you can discuss these issues sensibly as they arise is essential. Thanks for sharing your story and for joining our first linky week. Hope to see you again. #TweensTeensBeyond

  11. Sharon Parry says:

    This is such a dilemma and I have discussed it with my friends on a few occasions. I completely agree, I don’t want to come over all Victorian about it and make out that sex is wrong because it isn’t. On the other hand, I don’t want to condone something that is not yet appropriate! It’s a minefield isn’t it? What an excellent solution you have come up with. This is such a useful post for parents of teens, thanks so much for sharing it on #TweensTeensLinky. Looking forward to reading more next week.

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