I start this with how I hated my pregnancy but it was only really bad towards the end, but that is enough to make me hate the whole experience. My OH (Tom) and I have been together 8 years so obviously my older children are not his (but he is a fantastic father to both of them and they both have chosen to call him Dad) We decided after a year we would like to have a child together, so we started. It was not easy and we had a few miscarriages and started to get very down. After 4 years we decided to give up as it clearly wasn’t going to happen. We started to see all the positives of NOT having a baby and how good we did have it. And then it happened, we got pregnant!
When I first found out Tom was in bed (he works nights) and the kids and I were watching TV, I had one pregnancy test left so thought I would give it a go. I had felt like I was pregnant but my body had done that so often before because I wanted it so bad. But I took it and it was positive! I sat in the loo in total shock, I just couldn’t get my head around it. I pulled myself together and started to get all excited and thought I would wait for Tom to get up and I would announce it in some really fun way. I hid the test and walked into the front room. The kids looked at me and then my son said “are you OK?” That was it, I burst into tears and said “I’m pregnant!” I had to explain to the kids that they were happy tears and they were overjoyed. We raced up to Tom to tell him, as you can imagine he was not at all with it, pleased but not with it 🙂
Anyway back to me being pregnant. When I was 10 weeks pregnant I had a bleed, actually 2 separate bleeds within a week of each other. Bloody scary but luckily everything was OK. Then my pregnancy was not too bad, I felt dizzy all the time and almost past out on many occasions but we just took that as a pregnancy thing, we later found out that I needed glasses! Such a simple thing that could have been detected long before it was. The doctors only took it seriously months after I had Harry because it was clearly not normal after having him.
Then from around 6 months it all went down hill. After my glucose intolerance test I was told I had gestational diabetes so had to be really good with my diet or I would need to have injections. I was terrified of needles so was so scared. And who wants to be told that you HAVE to eat healthy, especially when pregnant. I enjoyed the fact I could eat what I wanted 😉 I had to take pills twice a day to control it. I also had a little bag of needles and a little machine and I had to prick my finger and write down the results after every meal! That got me down so much. When it was a little high I would panic. We went away for a weekend but I spent the whole time still feeling stressed. I also had to have extra scans (which was a bonus) and was told through the whole of my pregnancy that Harry was going to be a big baby (he was 6lb exactly). They also kept telling me that there was a chance I could need a caesarean which terrified me. I then discovered I had high blood pressure which landed me in 3 hospital stays. Twice for a week and the third time was 3 days but I was allowed home for one day, then I was told to come back in where they told me I was to be induced the next day! Cue total bloody shitting myself! It’s not the way I wanted it and I had only turned 37 weeks so I knew he wasn’t ready . Towards the end of the pregnancy I was in hospital every week and the last few weeks before he came it was 3 times a week. I felt so down and I also had the usual aches and pains but because I was so low they always felt so bad. I know reading it , it may not seem too bad but when you have to live with it, plus pregnancy hormones, it was just horrible. I will write about his birth soon but that was even worse and I’m not sure I want to go back to the thought of it just yet.