Why so judgmental

Why do people judge? I have been judged my whole life and have always felt the need to explain my life. Which I shouldn’t have to.
I was judged when I had my first child at 18 and then again at 20.
No one looked at the fact I had a husband, a house, no debts.
As soon as I had both children in the hospital, I was asked about contraception. Who the fuck wants to think about that or sex after you’ve had a baby? But obviously because I was young and having a baby, that made me clueless.

Then when in November when I had a 21 month old and a 3 month old I got a text (yes a text) from my husband to say he was leaving me. He came home that day and cleaned out the house and leaving me with sod all.
And so I was judged for being a young, single mum on benefits. And I was put in the statistics.

Again no one looked to see that despite being totally heart broken while my husband used me, never looked after or paid for my kids. I got a three bed home, told him to piss off (eventually) furnished it and decorated it all by myself, Fed my children good meals and gave them a brilliant christmas.

Now having been with my new partner for 10 years, that my older children call and see as their dad, we have another child together, a home, car etc. Now I am seen as the older snobby mum (I am so not)
When the older two are at school and I’m out with the toddler, people always assume he’s my first and that I need advice. I love to tell them that I have two older children.

Now I know some single parents that judge me. Assume that I have a perfect life and I have no idea how hard it is for them.
Well actually yes I do. I had it rough too, it is bloody hard but just because I have a partner now and I’m not on benefits, it doesn’t mean my life is suddenly super easy. I still struggle to afford things. Yes I have a partner that helps me out with housework and the kids but he works nights and then has to sleep through the day so sometimes I am that single parent by myself again.

So what I’m saying is, stop judging people! Life is far too short to worry or get jealous over other people, just enjoy what you do have and stop moaning about what you don’t!
And remember things are not always as they seem.

About teentweentoddler

Hi, I am a SAHM to 4. Two teens, a preschooler and a baby. This is where I share some of our ups and downs of life.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Why so judgmental

  1. Cass@FrugalFamily says:

    Completely agree that life’s way to short to judge people.

    I wouldn’t worry about it at all though and half the time when you think someone is judging you, they’re probably not at all. People love to give advice, not because they’re judging you but because they like to feel helpful x x

  2. David Ball says:

    Let it wash over you like summer rain you’re happy with your life so don’t worry about what other people think about you they’re not important! The important one’s are your family And most but not all are great people who love you!
    Love Dad!

  3. Rachel says:

    People judge everything hun, what hair or eye colour you have right down to your perfume, I think as human beings we can’t help it, it is part of who we are x

  4. Mellissa Williams says:

    I think people judge as they want to feel superior to others. I’m very easy going and accept people for who and what they stand for.

  5. It’s such a shame that society has this perfect ideology of what a family should be like & it’s such crap. I’m glad you have your happy ending and stuff everyone else!

  6. Haters gonna hate. People will always judge. Just let it wash over you and focus on the people that mean something to you and noone else 🙂

  7. Polly Davies says:

    well said…. people seem to love to judge others without knowing all the facts

  8. Yes, no one has a clue what goes on or has gone on in other peoples lives.

  9. Sometimes people just don’t know when to be quiet. They must have boring lives so have to interfere in other peoples instead.

  10. Kara says:

    I find people can be very judgemental but let it was over me now. I’ve been a single parent on benefits but I worked my way out of it and subsequently got married and have a home, car etc.

  11. People are too quick to judge you are right, but its best to ignore such narrow minded people.

  12. I can so relate to this. People look at my life and get jealous, but forget all the struggles I went through before. It’s funny how people are. Great post

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *