Why do people judge? I have been judged my whole life and have always felt the need to explain my life. Which I shouldn’t have to.
I was judged when I had my first child at 18 and then again at 20.
No one looked at the fact I had a husband, a house, no debts.
As soon as I had both children in the hospital, I was asked about contraception. Who the fuck wants to think about that or sex after you’ve had a baby? But obviously because I was young and having a baby, that made me clueless.
Then when in November when I had a 21 month old and a 3 month old I got a text (yes a text) from my husband to say he was leaving me. He came home that day and cleaned out the house and leaving me with sod all.
And so I was judged for being a young, single mum on benefits. And I was put in the statistics.
Again no one looked to see that despite being totally heart broken while my husband used me, never looked after or paid for my kids. I got a three bed home, told him to piss off (eventually) furnished it and decorated it all by myself, Fed my children good meals and gave them a brilliant christmas.
Now having been with my new partner for 10 years, that my older children call and see as their dad, we have another child together, a home, car etc. Now I am seen as the older snobby mum (I am so not)
When the older two are at school and I’m out with the toddler, people always assume he’s my first and that I need advice. I love to tell them that I have two older children.
Now I know some single parents that judge me. Assume that I have a perfect life and I have no idea how hard it is for them.
Well actually yes I do. I had it rough too, it is bloody hard but just because I have a partner now and I’m not on benefits, it doesn’t mean my life is suddenly super easy. I still struggle to afford things. Yes I have a partner that helps me out with housework and the kids but he works nights and then has to sleep through the day so sometimes I am that single parent by myself again.
So what I’m saying is, stop judging people! Life is far too short to worry or get jealous over other people, just enjoy what you do have and stop moaning about what you don’t!
And remember things are not always as they seem.