Punishing Pre Teens

Punishing the kids is getting so much harder now. We do still use the naughty step a little bit but to be honest it’s not as affective as it was.

Now it’s more like grounding them, no pocket money etc. I am going to have another go with sticker charts, which still works for my 10 yr old son but not so much for my almost 12 yr old daughter.

I have had to punish my daughter this morning by telling her she is not going to her friends party on saturday, which in her words is “pathetic” and “over the top”. It has really upset her and now made me feel guilty! Iv’e had to punish her for stealing. It may sound trivial what she has stole, but it is still stealing and i need to teach her that it is wrong. Here’s a list of what has been going on.



  1. She stole her dad’s mars bar. (it was on the sofa and fell on the floor, she took it when we were not looking,  went upstairs and ate it!)
  2. This morning while I was in the kitchen she stole some jelly babies from the front room.
  3. If we leave money anywhere it goes missing. (Not the whole lot but 50p here, a pound there etc)
  4. We bought 12 chocolate bars (breakaway’s) on Monday, on Tuesday there were 4 left! (yes it could of been both kids, but its more likely my daughter because she sits in her room, my son sits with us)
  5. She lies and says she hasn’t taken anything.
  6. We bought a 24 pack of crisps on Monday, by Wednesday they were virtually all gone!
  7. There is no way I can have chocolates on the Christmas tree (last year they carefully got unwrapped, eaten and carefully sealed back up to look like they hadn’t)

See like I said it doesn’t sound a lot but it’s wrong and she has to learn. And it’s more the fact its always on such a big scale (see 4 and 6) and juice goes down really really quick! It’s more fustrating as we give them breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks through the day too. We give them treats when we go out. So there is absoloutly no need for the stealing. She is going to france with the school on the 7th of December, but I’ve told her if it doesn’t change she wont be going there either!  Am I being mean not letting her go to the party? What would you do?

About teentweentoddler

Hi, I am a SAHM to 4. Two teens, a preschooler and a baby. This is where I share some of our ups and downs of life.
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